Never together?
by Tsuki-the-moon
Summary: Heiji, has always cared for Kudou as a friend. but when Conan is kidnapped by the B.O, will his true feelings unveil itself? or will he have to know it the hard way? yaoi! OkitaxHeiji ShinichiXHeiji later on! oh and lemon scenes too
1. Chapter 1

_**right! includes viloence and all that! yaoi doesnt come unless you continue reading the chapters! subscribe me! lol!**_

**_have fun reading!_**

**_-Tsuki&Yuki_**

* * *

_I watch you from the distance_

_I love you from so far_

_And I know you can't return my love_

_But I wish that if I keep on hoping_

_Then you'd receive my love_

_Even from earth_

_To Pluto_

Ch-1

"Heiji! Wait up!"

I glanced behind to see Kazuha bounding up to me with a big smile. It's been a while since I've seen her, about a month? I hadn't even realised time had passed so slowly. I was too busy being upset over Conan.

Conan… Shinichi… Kudou…

I gave a weak smile towards the girl I so loved. **Used** to love. My mind whirred at the memories that had me weeping at night.

**Flashback**

_His eyes glinted evilly as he held the gun tight against Haibara's head. His arms wrapped tight around her waist and her legs dangling uselessly under her. She stared at Shinichi's eyes in fear but the shrunken kid could do nothing but watch. The man in black with long hair motioned us towards the black car._

"_Get in." he said._

_I started towards the car but he stopped me._

"_Not you, him."_

_I looked behind and eyes widened in fear as Shinichi looked up back at me with an equalled expression as mine. I turned back at the man and growled._

"_If he goes, I go." I said in determination._

_The man's eyes narrowed. _

"_I don't want to kill you. Now go before I change my mind."_

"_I'm not goin anywhere you asshole!"_

_Gin took a step back as if he was hurt and I thought he winced._

"_I was hoping not to show this to your little friends, young detective, but I guess I have to do it earlier then needed."_

_He pulled the gun away from the girl but pointed it at me and reluctantly pulled the trigger. I felt my stomach explode before me. My eyes widened as I fell on my knees, feeling blood flow from my mouth. I clutched my stomach and looked up at the darkness towering over me. There was a long silence and then another shot and I felt pain pounding on my left shoulder. My teeth were clenched and I could feel my heart go uneven as the gun placed itself on my forehead. I half closed my eyes as I awaited death when I heard a shout._

"_Don't kill him! Please! He's already suffering!"_

_I slowly turned my head towards the left and saw Conan, no, Kudou stare at me with agony and pain. His eyes were teary but I couldn't see the tears. My vision started to blur before me and I collapsed to the ground. I heard him scream my name but it became frantic as he was grabbed and shoved into the car. _

"_Kudou! No! Where are you taking him?" I screamed._

_The man looked back at me and smiled. Strangely, the smile seemed sad._

"_Since you're dying, I guess it won't hurt to tell you where we're going." His voice was oddly uneven._

_The man took out what looked like an old photograph of an old burned down building._

"_This is where we're going, kid. Too bad you're going to die."_

_I had no strength to say anything back at him like I'd usually do and slumped back to the ground. I felt the warmth suck out of me as I watched the criminal involved in what made both Shiho and Kudou shrink to the bodies of eight and seven year old kids drive off. In this creepy, silent alley, no one could come here in time to save me, But I aint gonna die here. Not while I'm alive. I slowly took my mobile phone out and dialled the police._

"_Hello? This is inspector Takagi here."_

_Takagi! _

"_T-Takagi…? I need help… its urgent…"_

"_Heiji? Is that you? Hold on, where are you right now?"_

"_In an alley… I'm not… sure… track my mobile phone… hurry… there's no time… h-"_

_I dropped the phone by my side and felt all strength drain out of me._

"_Heiji? You there? Heiji?"_

_The phone echoed silently by my hand. The blood from my shoulder and stomach soaked my cloths red and I closed my eyes…_

**End flashback.**

"How's yer shoulder you've been talkin' 'bout?"

I looked at my shoulder as the memory ended and I felt my nose sting. Probably the wind.

"Its doin fine."

Kazuha smiled and took my good arm in her arms. I didn't even flinch like usual and just stared at her.

"What are ya doin?" I asked

She simply grinned at me, the grin that I used to love. But now, it all seemed different. She was simply just someone I knew. She was like a sister, but not too close.

Kazuha turned her attention to my stomach and pointed at it.

"And your stomach? I heard that it didn't get wounded like last time."

I nodded, as another memory flashed before me.

**Flashback.**

_Everything was white as I tried to open my eyes. Is this heaven? No, the smell, it's familiar, I've been here before… I squinted at the white light then focused on my hearing rather then sight. The beeping of a machine... A hospital! I'm in a hospital! I'm alive! I opened my eyes wide even though it hurt. I was safe, I was safe, and Kudou- I stared blankly at the ceiling and it occurred to me that he wasn't with me. There was a sudden burst of energy as I remembered what happened and sat up._

"_Conan!" I shouted in fear._

_Pain rapped itself against my pounding head and stomach. I groaned and realized I wasn't alone. Everyone was there. Ran, Kogoro, Doc Agasa, mother, father, detective Takagi, and inspector McGuire, all of them, here, for me. But Kudou wasn't there. _

"_Whoa! Easy there. You don't want to reopen your wound." Takagi said. "You're really lucky Heiji. If it wasn't for the thick book you had in your jacket, you wouldn't be here right now!"_

_I looked at him in a confused, yet sad way. I knew he was trying to cheer me up, but it only reminded me of how useless I was in saving Kudou. He was right there with me, but I couldn't do anything._

_Useless._

_Takagi gave a little enthusiastic laugh, but seeing that I was no where near the mood he wanted, stopped faintly. I glanced around shortly, absorbing the scene._

"_Where's Kazuha?"_

_Mother touched my hand and smiled at me._

"_She's was in a class trip when you got shot. We decided not to tell her because we knew you wouldn't like the attention."_

"_She's still in the class trip?"_

"_Yes."_

"_You guys came all the way from Osaka to Tokyo?"_

_Father smiled from behind, sitting on a stool._

"_Of course we did. You're our one and only son." He said._

"_You guys came…For me…" I whispered quietly to myself._

_The room was silent for a while until Ran asked a question that I hoped not to hear._

"_Where's Conan and Ai chan?"_

_All eyes were on me, expecting me to answer it. I couldn't say anything. Say what? That I failed to save him? That he was taken away, right before my eyes? That I was powerless? It's not my fault! It's his! If he hadn't suggested going to the beach, he'd still be here! If he hadn't suggested the shortcut, he'd still be here with me! If he hadn't… if he hadn't…_

_I looked down at my arm, tubes and needles sticking out in a grotesque way. I closed my eyes and shivered at the memory and looked up again, staring right at Ran, who looked also very worried._

"_I'm sorry Ran. I couldn't save them."_

_Everyone's eyes widened in fear of what I had just said. Ran's eyes got teary._

"_W-what do you mean? What do you mean you couldn't save them? And Ai! What about her?" her voice was shrill in my ears, they pained me in the heart, and her voice filled sadness that I couldn't bear._

"_They were taken. Two guys wearing black took 'em away in a car. I got the number plate, but the car could've been stolen. I'm sorry; I couldn't stop 'em."_

_I avoided eye contact from everyone as Ran cried. Her cries only made my heartbreak and leak sorrow into my mind. I wish I'd just die. If I did, I wouldn't had to tell her this news._

"_Why would they take them? They're just kids!"_

"_Heiji, tell us the plate number, and we'll try to trace it." McGuire said. His face was so determined, I couldn't say no. I told he the plate no. and he was gone in a flash, calling everyone in the police department to search for the car. But I knew they'd never find 'em. They might find the car, but no one would be in it. I noticed that Takagi was still here and was looking at me in a perplexed way._

"_What is it?" I asked._

_Takagi seemed deep in thought. "Do you remember anything that might help us find Conan and Ai? Maybe you saw something you shouldn't have, or…"_

_I looked at him in a rather irritated way._

"_Don't ya think I would have told inspector McGuire about the information long time ago if I knew -"_

_I stopped short when I remember something. The photo! That's where they are! The building was too old and racked to be easily identified, but I knew that place off by heart. I went there with a few other kids, including Kazuha, to show how brave I was. It used to be our hideout time to time till we saw a dead boned dog there. That was eight years ago, no wander I couldn't recognise it when I first saw the photo. It was way older then before. The building was an old burned down hotel that was meant to be taken down. They didn't because the owner paid them to let it be, because it brought him fond memories of his child hood. I told Takagi about it and he was already on it, calling McGuire and pacing around the room, blabbering information. If I remember it correctly, the hotel had a weird name;_

_Black wings. _

_**End flashback.**_

"Oh shoot! We're gonna be late! Hurry up Heiji!"

I followed her run blankly and the day seemed to past in a daze. I was barely concentrating in classes. How could I concentrate? It seemed that every word the teacher said brought memories from last month.

_**Flashback.**_

_Shinichi's POV_

"_Murderer! You murderer!" I screamed loudly._

_Ai, sitting next to me, stayed silent and looked at her hands trembling. The long blonde haired man sat next to me, pointing the gun to my head irritatingly._

"_Shut up brat, unless you want a bullet in your head."_

_I looked up at the man. I didn't realise I was crying until they poured out._

"_Shoot me then! Shoot me! What's the point of living? You killed him! You killed him! I don't see the point of going on anymore! Shoot me! I want to be with Heiji! Pull the stupid trigger god dammit!"_

_I felt a crack on the side of my head and fell limp on the seat._

"_Shinichi!" Ai gasped._

_My head pounded loudly in my ears and looked at the man, clutching the side of my head._

"_You don't think I want to do that? No, you're going to be our experiment. Sherry's going to make new substances and you'll be our guinea pig." The man smirked while saying this._

_Shiho stared wide eyed at the man in black._

"_You want me to work for you guys again? What the hell makes you think that?" she said angrily, holding on to me. The man brought the gun to my forehead._

"_Because if you don't, I'll shoot him. After all, we can get new guinea pigs."_

_Haibara slumped and looked away from me, depressed. The man grinned and lowered the gun and I glared at him, tears cold on my skin._

"_You murderer…" _

* * *

_woot! that ws great!_

_thank you~!_

_please review_

_and keep reading!_

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_ask fer it!_


	2. Chapter 2

**_i am_**

**_AWESOME!_**

**_LOL_**

**_- TSUKI&YUKI_**

_I dream to see you_

_To feel you_

_But it can't come true if you're so far away_

_I'd do anything in my power_

_Everything in my love_

_To get you back_

_And wrap you in my arms_

_And tell you how much I love you_

Ch-2

_**Clues.**_

_Heiji's POV._

_In a weeks, I was back on my feet with thick bandage on my shoulder and stomach. The doctors and nurse insisted for me to rest but I was fine on the outside, but on the inside, I wasn't. There were no records of the hotel called 'Black wings' and it confused me as much it confused the search team. I stared at the computer screen, typing on search for the hotel for every search engine but to my efforts, no avail. I typed on an English Google search engine and expected nothing when I found one single result in blue before me. My eyes widened in surprise and I dragged the mouse to the result. I clicked on it and when I expected information; nothing. I sighed. This isn't getting me anywhere. I could contact Kazuha, But then again, she was in America class trip and I had no idea how I could contact her from there. The library was quiet as I wondered around; pondering what could help me find the location of the old hotel. As I walked in and out of the labyrinth of books, questions scattered around. Why would someone destroy all information about the hotel? The men in black wouldn't have known that I'd be searching for it. Maybe they had done it previously? But who would suspect the old burned down building to be a hiding place for anyone? _

_I had already tried to search for the name of the one who owned the building, but the results were the same. No information about him at all. Nothing. Even the maps didn't contain the location of the place, not even the satellite!_

_I kept on walking until a book caught my eye. I almost laughed as I read the title. Sherlock Holmes. Shinichi would love to read this, then again, he had already finished reading it ages ago. I started to take the book off from the shelf when seven more books came down along with it._

_Ack, I thought._

_I cringed as the books thundered to the ground. Luckily, not many people were in the library and so, nobody had to see me embarrassed. Stupid! How could I be so clumsy! I started to pick the books up when I realized they were thick with dust. Odds are, looks like nobody reads them. I started picking the books up when something caught my eye. One of the books that fell down wasn't that dusty. In fact, it seemed recently held then the others. Putting all the books back on the shelf, I studied the English books lying on its side without touching it. The book was held by a man, judging by the hand prints it left on the dusty book. The book was called 'old drinks'. It barely seemed interesting with the dull gray cover. Fishing out a hanker chief from my striped jacket, I held the book before me and studied it more carefully. The pages weren't glued or hard looking, which meant there were no drugs or such involved. The pages were coated with dust from the book closed point of view, except for a blotch that had no dust at all. It looked like a finger print. I carefully placed the book down on its spine and placed a finger on where there was no dust and opened from that point. There was an old newspaper print in it. It seemed that it was torn from its original size and a little bit burnt too. I gasped as I read the heading;_

_Black wings burst to flames. _

_I started to read the article with the greatest interest;_

_On October the eighteenth, one of Tokyo's best hotels was set alight with an extraordinary, what the witness said, a…_

_I blinked. Many of the sentences were cut off from the newspaper._

_Through investigation, the explosion started in room __565__, at the top of the building in a kitchen from…_

_All residents were safe and sound and only a few ended up with burns on arms and legs. A lady, who lived in __565 __with long black hair, had forgotten to…_

_There were no charges against her, but police investigate over a peculiar matter in the fire where an…_

_The lady has no children and she has lived in that apartment for only a week till this tragic event happened…_

_The only life lost is a single dog, a spaniel, owned by a man named…_

_I ended the article with puzzlement. There were so little information, yet, so many mysteries. First;_

_1-Why were the numbers '565' underlined twice?_

_2-What had the woman forgotten to do?_

_3-What was the peculiar matter?_

_4-Why was there a mention of her not having children?_

_Well, since the explosion started in the kitchen, perhaps she left her cooking unattended, forgot to turn the stove off when she left, then it burst into flames, and the fire reached the gas under the sink and the explosion started there. That's theory one, question 2 finished, till I get another theory. Then the third question. What peculiar matter? Since it ends with 'an', it must mean the next word starts with a vowel; a, I, u, e, o. Then the fourth, why talk about her not having children? Maybe they were afraid that she left her kids at home and they were killed in the fire? It seems unlikely. I'll have to come up with another theory. And lastly, the first question that gets me thinking the most; why were the numbers '565' underlined twice?_

_I sat there, musing over when my stomach rumbled loudly. I glanced at my watch. Whoa! 5 o'clock! I left the apartment that my parents were staying over for a while at 10 am… wow; I've been in the library for about 7 hours… whoazer. No wonder I'm so hungry. I started to get up and suddenly felt my legs fall beneath me. I grabbed the bookshelf to stop myself from falling smack on my head. I laughed a little, no knowing why I did that. I pulled myself up and decided to get the book out. I held the book tight in my hands as I opened the door to the outside door when bitter current of air thrashed and coiled around me. Wrapped its chilly breeze through my body and I gasped at its frost. Winter was settling in Tokyo and I hurried off to a near by Café to get myself something to bite._

_I sat in the warm room, hot chocolate in hand and the article in other. I looked at the book I issued and gazed back at the pan (bread) crumbs of what I ate. Maybe the book has something to do with this. My thoughts were interrupted by a small mechanical noise in the corner of the room, near the entrance. A little boy with his mother was coming in, and it wasn't that which caught my attention, but the bright red car that whirred in front of them. It was an electrical red toy car, shiny and new. It whirred in front of them, controlled by the boy, and then went smack-bang towards the counter._

"_Sanoku! Stop playing with that if you're going to hit it around!" the mother scolded._

"_But mommy! All the other kids have them too! Everyone!"_

_I stared at them, as my brain clicked in my head. Now I see! That's how the explosion started! No wonder they found it peculiar! That solves question 4 too. But why the building? There's no proof that my theory is correct. I needed something else. I brought my attention to the 1__st__ question then something else clicked. Maybe it stands for the pages of the book? I grabbed the dull book and flicked to page 565. Nothing but words that didn't help me at all._

_Dang! There must something else. Then it snapped. I hurried to part 2, page 1130__th__ page and found what I wanted. Red fountain pen marks streaked over the words; h, s, o, h, and i. if I re-arranged the words;_

_Hoshi_

_Shiho_

_Shiho…_

_Shiho! Haibara!_

_That's it! That's the message? But what's she gotta so with this case? It might not even be her. With the colour red being the centre of attention, I didn't realize what else was lined with blank ink at bottom corner of the page._

_Men_

_The men in black! So they were involved in the explosion after all. I was silent for a while, pondering over the facts and theories I've discovered, and then realized that my hot coco was getting cold. Coco… a short name for hot chocolate… name! That's it! Maybe the some pages will refer to a specific name I need!_

_Forgetting about drinking what I've ordered, I leaned forward my seat._

_Ok, the most common number that is used on a name would be 'ichi'. I turned to the first page and sure enough, circled in black ink was the number one in the corner of the book. The numbers mostly used for names were between 1 to 10. I flicked through individually and the only ones circled were 'ichi' and 'nana, or shuichi'. One and seven. I decided nana instead of the other, since it seemed unlikely and it also pained me, for it reminded me of Shinichi. _

_I looked up from where I sat, and watched the wind push its way through the road and onto the strong cars. For a moment, across the road on the other path walk, I thought I saw Shinichi, no longer small, smiling at me so sweetly. I blinked and knew it was nothing but an illusion. I was frying my brain too much. I drank down my drink to warm myself up and brought my mind back to where it was previously. 'Ichinana' seemed like a strange name, so maybe I could randomize or even combine some of the letter. I came up with some names and crossed out the unlikely on my black notepad._

_Naichi?_

_Nanachi?_

_Chiana?_

_Ichina?_

_Inachi?_

_Inana?_

_I sighed. The only things I knew so far were that Shiho and the men in black were involved with the explosion of the hotel, how the explosion occurred, and that it was a man who did this. But the organization was able to delete all facts about this incident, how did he get his hands on this? Perhaps he was part of the organization until he betrayed them? If it was his name I was finding right now, what'd be the point if they already killed him?_

_I manoeuvred off the wooden chair and with my book in hand, hurried out of the café._

_I didn't know what I was looking for, not a single clue, for I was staring at the ground quite idiotically and thinking of something that may equal to nothing in some ways. In other words, I was thinking of Kudou. I came to be fond of him, even at his small state, made me think twice. I never agreed with myself and its emotions when I was near him, but now, I came to admit that I had fallen quite heads over heels in love with him. I looked up at the sky and clenched my fist tight. That's why I'll get you back Shinichi, I promise!_

**End flashback.**

The school bell rang and I slowly stood up. I felt as if my soul had been sucked out and tortured 'til I lost my brains. As I grabbed my bag, some of my classmates, including Kazuha came bounding up to me and held a paper up to me.

"Heiji! You like riddles don't you? We found this secretly hidden in Sawako's desk! What do you think of it?"

I stared at the paper and it got me thinking how I found the man I wanted about a month ago.

**Flash back.**

_I crossed the second to last name on the paper and smiled with satisfaction. All the other names actually had an address, phone numbers, a birth certificate, and a last seen witness. Only one name remained on the list, the only name that lived in Tokyo, and the only name with no record of anything what so ever._

_Ichina_

_You're not getting away from this, Gin, Vodka, I'll catch you guys no matter what! I pumped my fists in the air in my room. The moonlight was bright through my window and lightened up my whole room. I was still in my fist pumped position when I realized that it didn't help me to know someone's name. What's the point? It's not like I know the person's address or something! If only there was a clue! I slumped a little then brightened up. The book! I glanced around my bedroom and flicked through the pages in the book that lay on the ground._

"_Nothing~ Nothing nothing nothing~" I said in a lame sing song voice. It's been a week since I've been hung up on this and the word of the week was 'nothing'. I felt as if I've lost my mind. I continued to sing 'nothing' for a while, at least ten times for each page, eyes resembling the image of boredom. I turned the… I don't know the millionth page? I reached the end of the book and raised my eyebrow. _

"_Hmmm…"_

_On the epilogue of the book was a small note with a poem in it._

'Roses are red, violets are blue.

They are the same, are they not?

So if roses and violets are the same,

Then bricks and red dirt are the same too?'

_I stared at the note. That's dumb. Duh, of course bricks are the same with red dirt; bricks are made out of red dirt! Roses aren't same with violets, their colours are different. Though, they are both flowers. This person's comparing the flowers with rock hard earth elements, they're exact opposites! How's this supposed to help me find the address?_

_I was silent for awhile. Them it occurred to me that my answers were in the library, o section, in the left side of middle, where the book previously stood. I looked at the clock and the calendar. The library wasn't open, what a great public holiday. I sat back on my soft bed, duvet blue as the dark stormy ocean. The library was closed, what could I do? I was already wearing a navy shirt, reaching up to my sleeves, and dark black jeans encircling my tanned legs. I was already dressed and ready to go, but my destination wasn't even close to ready. Thinking over, I grabbed a black beanie, black scarf and a pair of black gloves. Popping the book and a few other things into a shoulder bag- colour of black, I ran down across the hall and grabbed a black coat on the sofa and got out of my apartment. Mum and dad went back to Osaka to deal with other things and they let me stay here until I was done with my business. I grinned as I ran across the streets of Tokyo in the fading white with a small grin. I always wanted to try this, but I guess I never had the guts to._

_Tonight, I was breaking into the library._

**_thank you for reading! want the preview? here u go!_**

_I moved my stiff neck around to see the streets empty. Guess it's time. I slowly got up, stretching my stiff limbs and shook snow off my shoulders. I approached the door to the library, solid glass with iron handles. My attempt to pick the lock was a horrible fail and my fingers were ever so numb._

"_Screw this."_

_I crouched and took a brick from the corner of the building. Clutching it tight in my right hand, I hurled it above my head._

"_Time for plan B." I mumbled grimly._


	3. Chapter 3

_I love you_

_More then anything in the world_

_But no matter how much I love you_

_I can't hold you_

_You're too far for me to touch_

_But maybe if I try harder_

_Then maybe I can see you_

_Even though I don't know if you love me._

Ch-3

**Search.**

_I sneezed and rubbed my cold stinging cheeks that I had been slapping to stay awake for the last three hours of waiting. I tried to stay warm as the snow covered my body, hiding me from the bright street lights and any pair of eyes. I shivered in the corner of the library, the shadows making me sleepy and tired despite the cold. I struggled to bring my arm up to the point where I could see the time. 11:11! 49 min to 12 am. Usually the streets were full of vandals and mobs that thrashed around the library and became drunk. I had to get this over and done with before twelve._

_I moved my stiff neck around to see the streets empty. Guess it's time. I slowly got up, stretching my stiff limbs and shook snow off my shoulders. I approached the door to the library, solid glass with iron handles. My attempt to pick the lock was a horrible fail and my fingers were ever so numb._

"_Screw this."_

_I crouched and took a brick from the corner of the building. Clutching it tight in my right hand, I hurled it above my head._

"_Time for plan B." I mumbled grimly._

_The brick crashed through the glass and I immediately ran through, glass showering on my back and beanie. The alarm screamed in my ears and I hurried to section o with torch in hand. I positioned myself to where I found the book and stood at the point where the brick red carpet seemed ripped and torn, as if plants were trying to grow through. I brought out a knife and dug at the spot. Ripping the carpet off, I saw a thin line dug on to the wooden board. I grinned in satisfaction and looked opposite of the book shelf and the line. I went to the opposite bookshelf and went through the books until I found what I needed. I took out a bright red book and went to the beggining page of it. I took the paper containing a certain address and stuffed it in my pocket. I ran out of the library. _

"_Sorry!" I said, looking over my shoulder at the mess I created. I knew that the police would be here any moment and the cameras probably caught the images of me. Lucky I observed the structure of the library and where the cameras were previously, or I could've accidentally looked at one. I sneezed again as I ran and took the paper of my pocket._

"_Great. Now I know where to start." I said in a rather husky voice. Dang, I must be coming down with a cold. I yawned a little and continued to run. The street wasn't too far from here and I slowed down in the snow coloured road. Looking over at the house's numbers, quite out of breath, I leaned over number 23 letter box. I slowly walked over to the brown framed door and knocked. I didn't have to wait for long and a man wearing a plain white t-shirt with blue jeans opened the door. A blast of warm heat rushed of the house and the man shivered._

"_What do you want?" he asked in a gruff voice. He face was chipped and skinny yet his figure was strong. _

"_You're Ichina, aint ya?" I asked._

_The man scanned me head to toe and his skin became pale. _

"_I-I've got nothing to do with you guys anymore! How'd you find me here? Please, don't kill me!"_

_I looked at the man in a looped way and hid a grin. Since I was dressed total black, he probably presumed I was the B.O. Maybe I should just play along?_

"_Sorry, 'Ichina', but these orders are from the boss. We can't have you alive, especially if you know everything." I grinned as the man's expression grew more frightened. He fell to his butt then scrambled across the floor, struggling to get up with his wobbly legs. I allowed my self in and closed the door behind me. Ichina got up and ran into a room, which I presumed it, was his bedroom._

"_Please! I won't tell anyone! I haven't told anyone for the past ten years!"_

"_But you did betray us. You took the last remaining newspaper we were about to burn right out of our hands and hid it inside the library, leaving clues for someone trustworthy to get their pure hands on it. Then you left messages on to the book to show who had done that and left a note at the end of the book to your address."_

"_But I only wrote the address, not the house number!" _

"_Oh? So you agree you did this?"_

_The man stared at me and started to sweat. It looked like he was gonna wet his pants any moment._

"_I didn't need to see the number to find your house, it's obvious. The front of your house shows that there have been previously secretary cameras everywhere at you house; you even left traps in case we came after you. But after so many years, you probably thought we forgot about you and decided to take the cameras away. There're loose bolts on the sides of the house along with the front of the house. As for the traps, which were probably wires at the gates and the front door, they were set to turn the sprinklers on and warn you of anyone outside previously, giving you time to escape. I saw this for the sprinklers are still there, even though covered by snow; I saw dents on it, showing that something was tied on to it. You really are the tricky, pesky rat, ain't ya?"_

_The man was still staring at me in a frightened way then he dove under his bed and took out a hunting rifle. My grin faded away._

"_S-stay away or I'll shoot!" he warned, the gun pointing at my chest._

"_Not again…" I muttered. I brought my hands up and decided to tell him the truth. It took a while for him to believe me, and when he did, he calmed down and settled the gun away with a sigh._

"_You really had me there! Geez, you really did!" he was glaring at me, and I simply smiled._

"_But I really wanted the truth, y'know? Thought you weren't gonna tell me the truth unless I was one of 'em threatin' ya and all."_

_The man sighed again. The snow on my beanie had melted and I felt cold and wet. I took my beanie, scarf and coat off and placed them on a near by hat stand. The man took a good look at me._

"_I thought I saw you before! In the news, you're that kid who solves stuff! High school detective, son of the Heizo Hattori, the chief commissioner of the Osaka police department, Hattori Heiji!" _

_I looked at him quite surprised, proud that my reputation has spread this far. Wonder if they also know me all the way to NZ and Antarctica? That'd be a lol._

"_Yeah, that's me. Anyway, why'd the B.O burn the article? What's so bad about it?"_

_The man looked down and rested his arms on his legs._

"_You want to know? Okay, I'll tell you. Remember how it says a woman lived in that room? She's Akemi Miyano, big sister of Shiho and previous member of the B.O. she's dead now, though. That time, the whole building was full of drugs, especially in the walls. The owner of the place wanted to expose the truth since he found out but then we killed him. We needed the whole place destroyed, but make it look like an accident. Later on, the man people thought was the owner was actually vodka, disguised as him. The drugs were destroyed, but the building, boss decided, that we shouldn't waste it and refurnish it, and move it else where. It's at the edge of north east part of Osaka right now. You can't miss it. Don't ask me how they got it there, I have no idea. I do know that they didn't refurnish the place though, well, not much. I don't know how they destroyed the place though, in the first place-"_

"_An electric toy car with a camcorder or something tied on top, a string, no, stronger then that was tied to the car and a loosened gas pipe. The stove was left turned on and when Akemi was far away from harm, she used the remote control to drive it forward, breaking the loosened up pipe and letting gas come out. We all know the results with gas and fire makes; and explosion. That's how she did it. She could then simply throw away the control, and all evidence is gone."_

_The man looked at me in amazement, his jaw wide. "H-how? How did you know?"_

_I smiled. "The sentence of the article said 'an', which suggests that the object starts with a vowel; a I u e o. Then it also mentions about her not having children, and then it must be something that kids use. I got the idea from a café near the library. In the article it also mentions that it started in the kitchen, and seeing that the B.O was involved, I'm pretty sure my theory is right."_

_The man at me flabbergasted and I wanted to laugh by his expression._

"_W-wow… you're amazing! Maybe you're better then those other high school detectives! Uh, Shinichi Kudou and Saguru Hakuba, I think."_

_My smile instantly dropped and I felt depressed. Ugh, this sucks, I thought as I sneezed. "Got tissue?"_

_The man went out of the room then came back with a box full of tissues. I thanked him and blew into one. _

"_Thanks fer yer service, uh, Ichina. Mind if I take these?"_

_The man shook his head._

_I bowed and grabbed my stuff. They were already dry. I looked at my watch and it was already 2 in the morning. Time sure flies by. Holding the tissue box in hand, I continued walking out to the snow then Ichina stopped me half way._

"_You think you'll find them?"_

_I nodded and bowed. I yawned in the darkness as I walked. Where now? Now I knew the location, but somehow, I felt lost. Maybe 'cause I'm tired. Real tired. I arrived back in my apartment and fell right asleep on the carpet, wet cloths and all._

_**End flash back.**_

"Hmm…" I mumbled, holding the paper out before me.

"Akai, Kiirori, Aoi, Chairoi, kuroi, shiroi, midori, murasaki. They're all colours. It says here that the known hiragana are the answer. Known also means popular or common. The most common kanji here are a, k, o, and i. the four hiragana can be mixed to colours aoi and akai. Then it says nine in a foreign must be taken. Foreign as in another language then ours. Nine in English kind of looks like 'ta' in kanji. It says that 'ta' is 'ka'. The colour with 'ka' in it in is akai; red. Taking away 'ka' and it equals ai; love.

So the answer would be 'red love'."

The girls around me squealed in excitement and the girl, whom I presumed Sawako, was blushing.

"Then who is it from?" Kazuha asked in excitement.

I sniffed at the paper and drew back. "Who's the guy who uses a lot of deodorant?"

The girls squealed again and thanked me, running of to see the one who wore loads of deodorant, which I had no idea who it was. Kazuha stayed though. I sneezed. I still had the cold somehow.

"Ya still have the cold!" Kazuha exclaimed in worry.

"Yeah, think it likes me." I sniffled.

"Hey, ya wanna go to a temple near the edge of Osaka? I hear they do this spiritual healing stuff!"

I paused. The edge of Osaka?

_**Flash back.**_

_I looked out of the window of the moving bullet train. Buildings and houses looked like nothing but a blur and I yawned then sneezed. How long till I get there? I tried not to worry, thinking that I'd be too late to save Kudou and tried to fall asleep. The past three weeks, since Kudou was taken, I couldn't sleep well, fer every time I closed my eyes I dreamt that Conan was taken and I was useless. In the dream, Kudou's face turned into a devil, screaming he'd never forgive me and I'd just wake up. I didn't realise I had fallen asleep until I had a dream. It wasn't the same dream I had the past three weeks, it was different._

_Everything was white; perfectly white. I did a little jump and I jumped up pretty high. I could see the white clouds just above my head and I reached out to grab them. I fell and bounced softly back onto the white ground. I started running straight and bumped into nothing. I stopped then ran sideways, then backwards. I bent to the ground and punched at the white. It was soft and I took a bunch out and built a mound, making it look like a sand castle. I grabbed a handful and ate them. They tasted like candy floss. I started running again, jumping up and down from the soft, springy ground. Then I jumped up real high and towered over mountains of the white candy floss tasting things and went up and up. When I reached all the way I saw Kudou, smiling at me. He was at his shrunken state and had his arm outstretched towards me. I reached out to grab his hand but I lost my kinetic energy and went back down where gravity pulled me. As I fell, I saw Kudou's face; sad and teary. A tear escaped and fell to a cloud and it evaporated along with Kudou. It started raining and the white wonderland melted…_

_I woke up with a jolt and the bullet train stopped. Speakers spoke loudly and I grabbed my bag and hurried out. What a weird dream, I thought. I sneezed._

_I got out and the first thing I did was ask people around if they knew where an old burnt down hotel that was being refurnished whereabouts. Most of my answers were either I dunno or I'm sorry. It was until I came to a real old man, around about eighty years old, said that he knew where it was. _

"_Really? Where?" I asked in a rush with a cough._

_The man blinked his small beady eyes and scratched his white bald spot hair. "I forget."_

_I muted an angry, frustrated sigh and turned to walk away when the man laughed. "I'm jokin' laddie! Just pullin' yer strings! Seen it last week where all the abandoned and broken houses are." The man inclined for a map and I handed him one and he pointed. "Right here lad. Careful now, Kay? Evil lurks around these parts. I was there last week only because I wanted to see everything before I die." The man nodded and walked off. I thanked after him and was off on a bus. It wasn't too far from here. _

_When I arrived there it was as if god didn't care of this place no more and pulled the curtains over it, letting dust and grime take over and have no sunshine at all. Everything was black and gray, to be precise with the description. The air was filthy and hard to breathe. The buildings, tall and short, were crumbling and windows peered out to the darkness, broken and dirty, no hope for the future. The sky was shrouded with dark clouds full of dust and the ground was swathed with rubbish. The scenery was painted with black and gray. I walked through the narrow street, glancing left to right. The whole place made me feel nervous and I felt goose bumps everywhere. Black garbage bags littered the whole street, poles stood dark and tall, casting longer shadows into the walls and corners. The walls were plastered with posters that were older then I and I tried to walk on silently until I felt a sneeze coming up. I sneezed once. Twice. Three times. Followed up with a fit of cough which was itching me badly before. The coughs must have been loud for I saw shifting in the shadows near the garbage. I bolted and heard shouts behind me. I kept on running and judging by the sounds of their foot thuds, they weren't healthy nor fit to catch up. I could see a tunnel ahead and it wasn't very long, for I saw the exit in the centre of the dark place, big as my fist. I kept on running till the pitch black engulfed me into nothing._

**_hope ya liked?_**

**_please review!_**

**_preview!_**

"_What's the password?" a sleek voice asked me._

"_Wha -?" I was stopped abruptly when a pipe stabbed me in the chest. I gasped in pain._

"_In case you forgot the password, I'll give you one more chance! What is the password?"_

_Their accent wasn't kansai, they sounded out of town. _

"_Uh- Black wings?" I tried. There was a seconds silence and the pipe stabbed me in the chest again. This time it was hard; harder._

"_We have an intruder!" _

**_lolololololololol_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_Yo Yo it's me again. long time no see yooooo. Sorry it took so long to update. anywhooo, thanks to those that bothered to review. please enjoy and i hope i didnt let you down!_**

_I can't wish for a thousand of shooting stars_

_To come down _

_Just for me and you_

_To make a wish come true_

_Then what can I wish for_

_That would make yours and mine_

_A wish_

_To come true?_

Ch-4

**End flashback**

"Hellooooo~! Heiji! You awake?"

I blinked as Kazuha waved in front of my face then clapped at my nose. "Huh? Uh? Wha?" I muttered. Kazuha gave me a goofy grin and tugged at my sleeves.

"Ya daydreaming already? You only do that in art class!"

I shrugged and scratched the back of my head. "Well, a change of plans. I think it's cool to do that while walking home."

Kazuha laughed. I coughed.

Without warning, rough looking guys appeared in front of us from a corner. All of them held wooden swords. One of them threw one to me. "You're Hattori Heiji, aint ya? Let's see who's stronger, us or you!" the man looked at Kazuha in an evil way and Kazuha backed away and I shifted in front of her. "And the prize will be the girl! A fight to the death! Now pick up yer sword!" I slowly bent down and held the wooden sword in my hands and gripped it tight.

"Heiji… Let's just run, you'll get hurt." Kazuha whispered. I shook my head gently.

"It's ok Kazuha. I'll be fine. While I fight them, I want you to go and get the police, Kay? Can you do that fer me please? C'mon, don't look at me that way. I'm strong, aint I?"

Kazuha reluctantly nodded, turned and ran. The guys, five in total, looked confused and the big one shouted; "Get her!"

I stood in their path. "Not on my watch. Oh wait, I don't have one."

Wooden swords rained down upon me and I easily dodged them. They continued trying to hit me, but their moves were too clumsy. As I hit one of them on the back of their and had him unconscious, it got me thinking how I defeated the strangers in the tunnel.

**Flash back.**

_It was pitch black in the tunnel and the only light I saw was the one behind me, the one I was running away from, and the one in front of me, big as my head now. I kept on running until I ran head first into a pipe. I fell to the ground with a ring in my ears._

"_Oww… *cough*" I muttered. I looked up and as I adjusted to the darkness, saw the pipe swinging down towards me and I rolled away and tried to get up. Someone kicked my shin and I fell back down. I heard a snigger and footsteps circling around me. There were seven circling me and one standing in front of me. I could tell by only one of my senses; hearing._

"_What's the password?" a sleek voice asked me._

"_Wha -?" I was stopped abruptly when a pipe stabbed me in the chest. I gasped in pain._

"_In case you forgot the password, I'll give you one more chance! What is the password?"_

_Their accent wasn't kansai, they sounded out of town. _

"_Uh- Black wings?" I tried. There was a seconds silence and the pipe stabbed me in the chest again. This time it was hard; harder._

"_We have an intruder!" _

_The man who stabbed me with a pipe took the pipe away to swing a hit at me, but before he did, before he even had it off my chest, I grabbed it tight. "What the -" I twisted the pipe and the man let go, wincing at the pain I crept for his wrists and snaked my leg out to his feet, tripping him over. The man gasped in surprise and I quickly got up. I brought the pipe into his stomach and had him unconscious before the rest swarmed for me. I ducked and joined them, pretending to look for myself and swinging the pipe around. We were like three blind mice, strangers in the dark, at least, that's what I hoped. Their eyes were near perfect in the dark, almost like a cat, and they could faintly tell me apart from the others. All with a pipe in hand, they came for me, swinging the metal around and trying to kill me. My eyes were useless. I closed my eyes. I had to trust my hearing for this. I concentrated and heard a noise in my right. I swung my pipe wide and heard it strike a skull. The man crumpled and another came to replace him. There was a small whistling noise in front of me and I brought my pipe up, blocking a blow and twisted the other pipe away, I heard it clatter to the ground then I swung it to where I presumed the torso was. It made contact and I heard a body fall in front of me. Three down, five more to go. There was a small run behind me and I stepped to the side just in time to hear a gust of wind disperse where I stood previously. I struck my leg out and felt a stomach hit into it. The man made a groan and I ran up and punched square in the face. I felt warm blood splash on to my fist, then grabbing tight the pipe in my left; I brought it backwards and hit someone else. Unfortunately, I hit him on his pipe. He pushed forward and I spun around, blocking all strikes from him. I spun again, carrying the pipe with me and attacked him. He blocked mine but his legs were open. I dropped to the ground and kicked him in the knees, causing him to buckle and bend to his knees. I took my opportunity, and creating my right hand into a knife shape, struck him on the neck. He fell and didn't get up. A pipe struck me onto the leg and at the same time, my arm. I gasped fell to the ground. I opened my eyes and saw two thick pipes coming down to my head. I rolled then did a painful split, resulting the other two to trip and fall. I grabbed their hair then smacked them to each other. _

"_One more…" I panted. I coughed and grabbed my chest. Pain lingered there and so did my legs and arm. I was too hurting to realise that the last one was right behind me. The pipe fell to my head and I fell unconscious. The man, the weakest of the eight, smiled in joy and grabbed me by the back collar and dragged me into the light. The man, around his fifties, wore baggy shorts and a sooty Hawaiian shirt. His sandals were worn out and his beard grew up to his shoulders. He winced in the light, though it was only just a bit brighter then the tunnel. He looked back at the body he was carrying and took a good look. I was still wearing my all black clothing his eyes widened in shock._

"_Oh- oh no, oh no. what if he really is one of them? M-maybe he was just toying with us? O-oh… oh no… they're going to kill me! No, calm down Dave, calm down. I'll just say he's an intruder! Yeah, and, and, I'll run away! Yes, yes…" the man continued to mumble to himself. Blood trickled from where he struck and I lay there, hurt and unconscious, dragged by a man I barely knew. _

_He continued to drag me along the dirty, hard ground, until he came to an old burned down building and stopped. A man in clad black stared out of the glass doors and looked at the man in the Hawaiian shirt. The man with the Hawaiian shirt grinned and waved at the man in black who sat on a chair. "Look here! I've got an intruder from the tunnel! The others are unconscious or dead by him. Am I going to get a raise? Yes? Please?" the men in black got up and opened the glass door. He looked down at the body right below him and looked at the man right in front of him._

"_You idiot. He's from the organization."_

_The man's smile dropped and his lower lip quivered in fright. "B-but he didn't know the password. He said black wings instead of Shirokuro."_

_The man in black looked at the man menacingly. "Black wings is the password for the newest members of the B.O you nitwit!" he brought out a gun and the man dropped me and backed away._

"_Please don't kill me, I didn't know, I did-" there was a gunshot and the men fell to the ground with a bullet hole in his head._

_The man took me into the building and used the elevator to get up to the top floor…_

**End flash back.**

I could only stare slumped on the wall as a remaining one of the big guys walked up towards me with a wooden stick in hand. There was blood on the top of my head as a result of a fatal hit and an aching body. I underestimated them. I didn't know there were more than five of them, the sixth hiding until I dropped my guard. My vision was blurry and the only warm thing I felt was the blood flowing from the side of my head. I faintly looked up as the man raised the sword and crushed it down in an alarmingly fast speed, eager to crack my skull. I stared, not caring at all when the hit was seized by a block. I couldn't register much for all I knew was the man was on the ground after a while. There were shouts and a familiar face checked my pulse. He shouted something back and the world went black.

The hospital bed was comfortable as I stared at the ceiling. I turned my head and saw Okita Soushi staring right back at me. His face was somewhat relieved.

"What ya doin here?"

"What else? I saved yer ass back there when a big dough was gonna crush ya in ta pulp."

I turned and coughed.

"Sweet. Y'could've let 'em do that. It won't concern ya much."

"What'ya mean? 'course it'd affect me!"

I turned to him. He looked quite hurt. He seemed quite flushed too.

"Eh?"

"Don't ya get it Hattori kun? I'm worried ya dope. Had a feeling there was some trouble with ya in the streets and just had ta come. An inkling, y'know?"

What would a kendo rival care? "Oh… An inkling… right." *cough*

I closed my eyes as I tried to relax. I didn't want to look at Okita. He resembled Kudou too much. It hurt. I was so unfocused in my surroundings when I felt warm lips against mine. The kiss was short, but it came again less then a second, too short of a period for me to recover. Okita pressed in and I stared in shock. I tried to push him back but I felt weak. I clenched and emotions flowed into me. I couldn't stop it. As we broke for a breathe, I cried. I couldn't help it. My heart raced and my head spun. My eyes were tight shut and I heard Okita worrying over me, asking me what the matter was. I shook my head and sobbed. Okita fretted then brought me close. He placed me onto his warm chest and his warmth made me cry more. I tried to stop and for a brief moment, my heart settled slightly.

"Hattori kun… What's the matter? Why do you cry? Is it with what I've done?"

I shook my head faintly and looked up. He looked back down and saw my teary eyes. _He looks so cute… and sad. It pains me to see him like this… _he thought and rested his head onto my head. _So soft…_ I shivered as he breathed into my scent.

"It's not you Okita kun… it's me. I'm so broken, so broken. Okita, why am I even born? Why am I even alive? You should've just let me die! It would've been better that way! You could've, you could've..." I couldn't speak any more as I started crying again. I couldn't tell him that I was crying because it was he who kissed me and not Kudou. It was stupid of me to think that way. Okita looked so much like Kudou and for Okita to steal my first kiss, it pained me bad. That wasn't the only thing. The fact that Kudou wasn't here with me pained because I knew it was my fault. As my breathing steadied, Okita cupped his palm onto my face and raised me to his lips. I was too dazed too refuse as he bit my lip and explored inside of my mouth. Then, I was sound asleep.

**Flash back.**

_I woke up rather drowsy. There was a tight bandage over my head, left arm, right leg and I looked around me. I was in a room, a bit dirty but cleaner then the outside world. There was a single chair in the small room and I reached over. The base was still quite warm, so the person that was looking over me had left a few moments ago. I started to get up when the door opened and a man in clad black walked over with a plastic cup in hand. I froze and fear crept up. I sat there, half out of bed and didn't move. The man sat on the chair and handed me the cup. I took it slowly and sniffed. It was lemon tea. The man chuckled._

"_Still a cautious fellow, eh, Beiger? You've been in the organisation for a month. You already know what's in there, right?" _

_I nodded. "Lemon tea with a bit of ginger." The man chuckled again._

"_Always observant, eh? You changed your hairstyle a bit. You also got a darker tan. Making a new look after what Gin said, eh?" _

_I nodded again and sipped on the drink. What could I do? I had to play along. If this man found out that I wasn't the one he thought, that I was a detective, he'd kill me. I felt cold inside when he remarked; "Hey, you look just like that detective, Hattori Heiji."_

_I gulped and looked at him with a sneer. "Oh? Maybe I could trick his father and infiltrate the Osaka's police force. Then I'll kill Mouri and everyone else, since __**I'm **__Hattori Heiji." The man opposite of me snickered._

"_That'd be brilliant. But if they found out that you were acting strange then they'd shoot you down. But you're lucky you've got the same kansai accent as him though."_

"_You think boss would let me though?"_

"_Maybe. Anything to get those detectives and police off their feet."_

_I finished my tea. *sneeze*_

"_That's one cold." He remarked as I coughed horribly._

"_Nah, it's all good." I croaked. The man smiled._

"_Enthusiastic and sarcastic as always. Anyway, I took care of the guy who did this to you."_

_I tried not to look worried, "you shot him?"_

"_Yup."_

"_Nice." I muttered, hiding my horror._

"_Yeah, and Gin wants you to meet him at the top floor."_

_I cocked my head. "Why?"_

_He shrugged. "Dunno. He usually does that when there's a new assignment or he just wanna show you something. He's got a soft spot for you." _

"_Uh, could you come with me?"_

"_You still afraid? Geez, I'm coming. Get dressed though."_

_I was wearing a velvet beige robe and I got changed to my previous cloths. As we waited in the elevator, I felt strange standing next to the man, wearing the same clad black as he. It was as if I was actually one of them. We reached the top floor and another man in black stood in front the elevator door. _

"_Mosehu, Beiger." The man greeted._

"_Fuzusho." The man called Mosehu said. I simply nodded._

_The floor was rather clean and tidy with bright white lights stuck to the ceiling. The floor was marble and it echoed as we walked. Up ahead the long corridor was a metal swinging door. There was a strange uncanny feeling as we opened them and went through._

_Gin stood there, looking over test papers and flicking through the messy metal table. The room looked like some lab scientist room, too complicated yet simple to describe. I erased the memory when Gin shot me twice and was close to killing me. And here before me stood the man that I feared. He looked up from the papers, realizing he wasn't alone. His bleached hair flowed to his hips and his black hat drooped to his eyes. Dressed in black, he walked towards us and my heart skipped a beat. He greeted Mosehu and Mosehu excused himself out. I looked back and started to sweat. I gave him the look of; Where the hell ya goin? But Mosehu just smiled and went out. I looked back in time as suddenly Gin hugged me. I stood there frozen and didn't know what to do. After a while, when Gin was still holding me tight in his arms, I decided to speak up._

"_Uh, Gin san?"_

_Gin said nothing then suddenly let me go. _

"_I'm sorry… I-"_

_I looked up at his pale sky blue eyes and he looked down back at me. He recollected himself and turned._

"_Just- had a feeling that I had lost you… we can't afford that, you're the best member here."_

_I looked at his back in surprise. Whoa! This guy actually has some emotion! *Sneeze*_

"_Come, there's something I want to show you."_

_He led me through the maze of test tubes and all these wires and glasses until we came to what looked like a glass enclosure for experimenting animals. There were thousands of them, all lined up in a pretty row, 2 metre diameter each. None of them caught my eye for most was filled with inhumane people, dirty and filthy. None of them caught my eye, none but the last glass enclosure where a small, frail kid hugged his knees. His clothing was a blue suit with a red tie, mangled and broken in his hands. I followed slowly behind Gin and we approached him. The boy looked up, eyes blue and sad. On the cold, marble ground was his broken glasses, scrunched as if someone had crushed them with their shoes. I stood there, right in front of the glass, and even if I wanted to help him at this very moment, I knew I couldn't. _

"_Kudou…" I whispered and he looked in my direction. His eyes widened and mouth dropped._

"_H- Ha- Hattori?" his voice was shaky._

_I tried not to shiver when he called my name. Gin laughed._

"_What a fool. You think this is that detective? Unfortunately, that boy's dead. Too bad." Gin smirked evilly. Kudou's eyes went teary and ran up to the glass. He started pounding against it in front of me and sobbed._

"_Hattori? You're Hattori, right? Hattori? Please! Hattori? Hattori! Hattori! Answer me! Hattori!" he screamed over the glass wall but the shouts were mere whispers out here. Gin smirked again. He tapped the glass for amusement and Kudou winced._

"_Interesting Machinery don't you think? When he shouts, it's a mere whisper. But when we give a little tap, it's as if someone's shouting in his little shrunken ears." He chuckled and I gave a small laugh, cringing in the inside. Gin swung his arm and slid it on my shoulder. Kudou screamed._

"_Get off him you bastard! Don't you dare touch him! Get off! Get off!"_

_Gin shook his head and leaned down to Kudou's height. "He's dead you asshole. Dead. Dead. This one is our newest recruit, Beiger. He steals everything and anything for us anywhere. Although it's quite sad that someone in our organization is betraying us and returning the valuables in a day or within a week. He looks so much like that Hattori Heiji, don't you think?" he laughed evilly and punched on the glass. Kudou blocked his ears and shouted out._

"_Oi, Quit it!" I pushed Gin off. I gasped silently at what I've done and started to sweat. _

"_Uh, Gin, I-" Gin chuckled._

"_Relax. I know you're still part of the civilisation, and you're still a kid. I should know you still have a heart like one."_

_I hung my head a little to hide my nervous face. "S-sorry." Gin ruffled my beanie along with my hair and I saw him smile. It was kind of creepy to see a guy like him to actually smile but somehow it warmed me up. This must be the other side of Gin, I thought. That thought relaxed me and I beamed up at him. I thought I thought I saw him blush. _

"_What ya gonna do with the Kiddo?"_

"_Well, we'll ask him questions, mostly, I guess, then torture him while we're at it, then experiment with him and in the end, we'll either use him as hostage to get money from the police or just kill him."_

_Now I was nervous._

"_Please Gin, consider what I've said to you before." A woman's voice said from behind._

_Shiho? I thought and there she was in her grown size wearing a white coat with her monotone face and her monotone voice. Her eyes widened when she saw me but returned to her calm composure. "Gin, who is this?"_

"_Don't play dumb Sherry." Gin said in the same tedious voice._

"_Hattori?" Shiho shouted in shock, "it can't be! You're dead!"_

_What, do you want me to be dead? How nice, I thought._

_Gin laughed. "Fool, this is Beiger, a new recruit." Shiho's expression turned motionless and sighed in dismay._

"_Oh."_

_Gin turned to me. "The real reason I called you here is for you to look after the prisoners and Sherry while me and Vodka are out for orders. Think you can handle that? Make sure Sherry makes no contact with the kid"_

_I jumped. An opportunity to break out! "Sure. When you coming back?"_

_Gin looked out a window. "Before the sun sets." And he was gone, leaving me a paper of instructions and map of the hotel. So that's where the kitchen is… I thought. Shiho stared at me all the way as I looked though the papers and I twitched every time. The thousandth time she glanced I couldn't take it._

"_Will ya stop starin' at me? It's getting' real annoyin'!" Shiho looked away and continued with tubes and glasses. I twitched. "What? Ya got something to say? Spit it!" and I was drenched with water. Shiho looked at me angrily. I coughed._

"_I hate you people!" then returned to her work, dropping the bucket she used to the ground. I sat there on a chair, drenching then got up. I dried myself with a towel found in a cabinet somewhere in the room and walked back to where I was. I peered around a corner and saw Shiho trembling. I skidded across the ground and right in front of her to see her wiping her tears quickly._

"_Hah!" I pointed an accusing finger at her. "It's the first time I saw you crying! You do have emotion after all!" *cough*_

_Shiho stared at me. "How? You don't even know me!"_

"_A detective knows everything, my dear friend, Ai Haibara." I gave her a wink and gave her a gesture of giving thumbs up and pointing it to myself and she welled up._

"_Ha-Hattori?" then she hugged me. I patted her back and she sobbed._

"_We thought you died. We saw you get shot. Shinichi… He's been crying all day. Everyday. They barely give him any food to eat. They torture him… and I can't do anything to stop them…" I calmed Shiho down and brought her back from my chest to show her my smile._

"_I'm here now! Nothing ta worry bout!"_

_Shiho wiped her tears away and smiled. It was time to get Kudou out of there._

"_Alright, we gotta free the prisoners first. Shiho, you find the drug to bring Kudou back while I try to find out how they open these." Shiho nodded and was off. I stared at the glass jails and saw them staring at me pleadingly. What should I do? I thought to myself for a minute and went off to look for something heavy. I saw a loose pipe in a corner. "Shiho! Get all the work you need and get out of here!" I shouted and I heard her voice somewhere say ok. As soon as I heard her leave the room, I pulled at the pipe that contained gas. Gasoline poured out. The pipe was heavy in my hands but I dragged it back._

"_Alright! Ya guys shelter yer self!" a man in the glass that I stood in front of covered himself and I broke the glass. He thanked me and ran out. Waiting for next instructions beside me, I told him to find something else to break the other glasses with and I went back to breaking all of them, one by one. The job was done faster as more were free and breaking the jails with me. At last I was down to one and he looked up at me, as if not believing what he was seeing._

"_Step back Kudou!" and I swung the pipe. It broke and Kudou just stood there, staring. I kneeled down and stretched my hand to him. "Coming?" there was an odd feeling there as he looked at my hand and touched it. He smiled a childish smile, so innocent and pure and hugged me. I stood up, Kudou in my arms and looked back at the free prisoners. "Alright! Y'all follow me!" I ran for the exit and quickly glanced out the window. Sunset was coming soon. The air was crowded with gasoline and we all coughed as we made our way out. I stopped at the door to make sure everyone was out. I told them to go down by the stairs and turned back at the room from a distance. I brought out a lighter I had in my pocket and flicked it on. Holding Kudou tight in my arms I threw it. The lighter hit the door and stayed there. It won't take long for the gas to reach the flame and I broke into a fast run down the stairs. I was thrown forward as the building trembled from the explosion upstairs. Dust covered my eyes and I winced. They covered up my air hole and I coughed. There was another explosion and wooden shards flew everywhere. Our downstairs path trembled and the roof of it gave way. Large boulders were in our way and we couldn't get through. I looked around desperately and saw a window. I ran for it and broke the glass. We were 3 storeys off the ground and nothing to break our fall if we were to jump. Then I saw Shiho along with the others. They were carrying a large sheet of black plastic rubbish bag. Kudou coughed and clung onto my coat. I noticed a cut in his arm and took my beanie off. I had it on kudou's head then took my bandage that off too and wrapped it around his little arm. I patched it up and kissed that spot and gave him a warm smile. Holding him tight, I jumped out the small window and fell. Making sure my back was to the ground, we fell and I felt myself go through the plastic._

_Everything went black after that._

**_I assure ya'll that there will be incoming smut with soushi okita and heiji and some fluff with kudo and heiji. till then, stay tuned!_**

**_PREVIEW!_**

****_"Hattori, we cant stay together."_

_"...Huh? What are ya talkin bout Kudou?"_

_"Look at yourself Hattori. You're torn and hurt."_

_I looked at myself and saw my cloths were ripped and battered. My body felt too ripped and battered._

_"Everytime you're with me, you get hurt. It's best for us to be apart from now on."_

**_Please REview, damn it! or no free cookie!_**


	5. Chapter 5

**I am so sorry!**

**i havent uploaded for so long, please forgive me! i didnt mean it! i swear!... well, maybe...**

**but dont complain! i got what u need right here!**

_I can't demand for your love_

_And there are many others_

_That may block our path_

_To what we wish for_

_Nothing's fair_

_Nothing goes the way we wish_

_But I love you_

_And I wish I could tell you that_

Ch-5

I opened my eyes and realized I wasn't in the hospital anymore. I gazed at the ceiling and understood that I was in my own room. It occurred to me that I was rather half naked, wearing only my boxers and wasn't alone in my bed. I tilted my head to the right and saw Okita lying next to me with a conceited face. His arms were around my waist and I felt the legs over mine. I stared at him in a shocked way as my mind processed what was happening.

"!"

The screaming hurt my throat and I coughed after that.

Okita rubbed his eyes and cocked his head to side as I fell off the bed and skidded across the room, pointing at him with an open jaw expression.

"Wha-wha-wha-wha?"

"Wha-wha-wha-wha?" Okita mimicked and leered.

I blushed and tried to get up but Okita was there, helping me up but putting me back to the bed. He too was half naked and I had a glimpse of his blue boxers. He pushed me down and rubbed his hand on my chest.

"How did- when did we- what are ya?"

"When ya fell asleep in the hospital, I asked the nurse if ya were fine to go back home and rest there instead. She said it was fine and I said I'd take ya home while ya were still asleep. I carried ya home and laid ya to bed, and lets say," he trailed his index finger down to my bandaged stomach, "I saw yer face and it was so dang hot and adorable, I couldn't resist but take yer cloths off along with mine. But…" Okita tugged at my boxers. "I decided not to take these off until you woke up. Then it'd be more fun."

I blushed and using all my strength, pushed him off.

"W-What the hell? I don't care what ya think! Don't do those kind of things like that!" trying my best to hide my embarrassment, I got up and slipped on beige jeans and just as I was bout to wear a black collared shirt, Okita grabbed my waist and I yelped in surprise.

"C'mon Hattori. Let's have some fun."

"NO!" I kicked him and gave him Charlie on his leg. He groaned and I tried to escape but he stopped at the door frame. He brought me close and stared into my eyes. I was sure he'd say something serious but I didn't have to worry at all.

"It's not fun being a virgin Hattori."

I stared at him like this `-`. I had nothing else to say.

"O-Okita… the thing is, I'm in love with someone else, kay? No hard feelin's." I stuttered. Okita sighed.

"If that's how ya feel, then okay." He started with the fake tears and the sparkly background. "But just do one more thing fer me, won't ya?" he gave me a heart shaped biscuit. "Please?"

I sighed. I took it from his hand and bit into it but as soon as it slugged down to my intestines, my body felt stiff and I dropped the cookie to the ground. My body stopped co-operating with me and I could only stare angrily at Okita who was smiling at me.

"Y-ya spiked it…"

"Indeed! Makes you paralysed fer half an hour. And til it wears out," he lead me to the bed and took of my shirt and started off with the zipper on my jeans, "yer mine, Hattori Heiji."

**Flash back.**

_The world twirled in circles as I opened my eyes. Familiar faces were there and behind them was the clear blue sky. _

"_Where?" I questioned._

"_We're in a park." Shiho answered and I kept on staring. The prisoners smiled at me._

"_Thank god yer okay! Ya bonked yer head on the ground and we thought ya were a goner. Thank you fer savin us. We're all gonna got to our families now. Sayonara!" they smiled and waved goodbye. I realized I was lying on Shiho's lap and Kudou was missing._

"_Kudou?"_

_He was there, looking off to the distance with changed cloths. He didn't look at me. I gazed at him and asked what was wrong._

"_Hattori… we can't stay together."_

"_... huh? What are ya talkin bout Kudou?"_

"_Look at your self Hattori. You're torn and hurt."_

_I looked at myself and saw my cloths were ripped and battered. My body too felt ripped and battered._

"_Every time you're with me Hattori, you get hurt. It's best for us to be apart from now on."_

"_What? Why? I mean, I'll be more careful from now one! Kudou!"_

_He started to walk off and I felt Shiho lift my head for to get up too. "Thank you Hattori. Thanks to you, at least 10 of the members were killed. There was one eye witness but he only saw when you hit your head on the ground. We knocked him out after that. We confirmed that he thinks we're all dead from the explosion and you have some amnesia and disappeared. We have to go now. Sayonara." _

_I was so stunned that I couldn't react as they walked away._

"_W-wait! When? When will you come back?" I shouted as loud as I could though my throat was betraying me. Kudou didn't stop walking and I faintly heard him reply before I fell asleep again._

**End flash back.**

***yucky scene***

"Scream my name" Okita whispered into my ears. I didn't want this. I don't want this. But my body's paralysed and there's nothing I can do about it.

"O-Oktia! Okita!" I panted as he came into me. I couldn't move my body and it's been about twenty minutes since we were doing this. I coughed as he came in again and again and it felt endless. My bullet wounds were sore and I wanted this to stop. I'm such a bloody idiot for being tricked into eating that dumb biscuit. I felt warmth in my fingertips and it slowly spread to the rest of my hands when Okita paused for a minute. He came in again and I clenched at the bed sheet. It was wearing off.

"My first name. say it." He whispered again.

"Soushi…Soushi."

He flipped me over and then brought my head to his dripping man hood.

"Do yer job."

I looked up at him pleadingly but he kissed me instead. He attacked my tongue and swallowed my saliva. I had to buy time for me to regain my control over my body and so, I reluctantly leaned forward and had the whole thing in my mouth. My tongue wrapped around it and bobbed up and down. Okita groaned in pleasure.

"Ah~ that's it Heiji. Yer finally getting in to it. More! More! Yes! Heiji…"

_Don't call my first name you asshole. _I bit it in anger and Okita gave a yelp.

"Ooh~ that's some passion there Heiji. More!"

_Disgusting. I'm not yer lover or anything._ My arms were free now and so was the top half of my body_. I just need my legs back and then I'll kick this ass out. _Then suddenly Okita pushed me back and leaned his head to my dick.

"Look at this! Ya need some pleasure Heiji!" he poked his tongue out and swirled it at the tip. I started to feel strange and moaned as his tongue stroked my cock.

"S-stop… s-stop it…" I muttered as he played with it. His warm tongue went here and there and I felt my body tingle. _This isn't right! It aint! Okita's not s'ppose to do this. The only one… the only one who's allowed…_

"Is Kudou!" I pushed him off and panted, tears in my eyes. Okita stared then grinned.

"Looks like it wore off. In that case, here! Have another one!"

"No ya asshole!"

"Aw shucks. But ya enjoyed it, eh?"

I got up and took the dirty sheet off. I turned my back to him, planning to have a shower.

"No. Because I don't love ya. Ya've had yer fun, now get out."

Okita looked at my back dumbfounded. "Who do you love?"

I stopped in my tracks. I looked down and I felt the tears welling up. The last words Kudou said to me echoed in my head.

_Until I destroy them._

"Someone who could never love me."

**well, that was fun, no? hahaha, sorry for the really lame love scene. *nosebleed* dont forget to review!**

**here;s the preview!**

*plip

It really is a great night.

*plip

Then why am I crying?

**not much, but just wait! 3**


	6. Chapter 6

__**I hope you all know that i have not yet finished the story! now this, THIS is the last chapter! happy ending, yes yes? and yes, it's been quite a while, so my deepest apologies!**

**_last chapter_**

_Deep down_

_I know _

_That I'm afraid of the truth_

_That you may not love me_

_But I love you_

_And now_

_I'm tainted_

_I'm not sure anymore_

_If you'd still love me_

I stood in the shower feeling rather bummed out. Why did I just say that? Why did I bother saying that? He doesn't need to know. Agh, it doesn't matter. I got out and decided to have a walk outside. It was dark and the air was gentle and soothing. I breathed in deep and tasted the cold snow on my tongue. Such a great night…

*plip

It really is a great night.

*plip

Then why am I crying?

I wiped them off.

"Ugh, I really am pathetic."

"Hm, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to agree with you."

"Heh, why not? I'm a useless dumb…"

I turned.

"…Teenage…"

"Idiot?"

Kudou grinned. I stared at him rather stunned.

"…Is that really you?"

"Oh? So our great detective is not only a dumb idiot, but hallucinates too?"

I tackled him and we fell down to the snow. He laughed as I kept on staring at his face.

"Just joking! You know what I mean, we fellow detective should speak in code sometimes, like Sherlock Holmes says…"

"…ut up…"

"Eh?"

Kudou looked at me and I covered my eyes, basically sitting on him.

"Just shut up for once… do ya know how I missed ya? Yer makin me lose my cool!" the tears escaped through my fingers.

"…I'm sorry."

"For what? For disappearing for months? Or for leaving me behind so cold heartedly?" I shouted at him. I couldn't see through my hands and so I didn't know what kind of expression he was holding. I felt warmth and he gently placed me against his chest.

"Both. And I'm sorry to make you cry. I don't want to see you cry."

"Well, it's too late!" I wanted to sound strong and confident but my voice trembled through every word. He held me tight.

"I'm really sorry. I really am." His voice was sincere. I nodded slightly.

"Can we get up now? Your butt's gonna get wet."

Kudou didn't let me go but did stand. My hands were still over my eyes. Kudou took my wrist firmly.

"Please don't hide your face from me."

I slowly shifted my hands until they were clear from my face. That's when he kissed me. They were warm and soft and I felt so happy on them. He nudged the line of my lips with his tongue and I gratefully opened them up for him. They met and his was soft and wet like mine. He easily defeated mine and we broke to breath.

"Hattori… I've always loved you. From the day I accepted you as a friend and a rival, my feelings had spread across my whole body and you can't imagine how hard it was to not kiss you when I was still Conan. That's why I was always so cold. I'm so sorry. I should've been more honest with my feelings."

I smiled. "I should've been honest too. Do you know when I fell in love with ya?"

"When?"

"When I first saw ya through the newspapers. I thought of ya more of a rival but as I continued to read yer cases, I started to admire ya and it was almost like love in first sight. That's why I came to Tokyo. I wanted to know ya more. And when I found out that ya were Conan, I was happy to have been by yer side from the start. I love ya, Kudou. I want ya to know that."

Kudou smiled and embraced me again. I lay my head on his shoulders. "Will ya leave me again?"

"Never."

"Good, because I'm not going to leave you either, Kudou."

"Call me by my first name, Heiji."

I smiled and greeted his lips.

"I love ya, Shinichi."

**ahahahhahahahahahaha! that ended welll didnt it? or should just have made a real sad ending? alternate ending of one of them dying anyone? review and i'll make one! ahahahhahahahahahahaha!**


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